Every couple of years since 2008 I’ve challenged myself to write a post with the basic premise of assembling a list of characters to be in my fictional family. If you have ever watched or read Kyouran Kazoku Nikki then the idea is essentially the same. I usually try to get others to join me in my insanity and results vary anywhere between families which would be actually great to live with and be functional to random amalgamations of strangeness and hilarity. The last time I did this it was more or less a refined version of the first list. I pretty much consider the second version to be near perfect on all fronts so I wouldn’t have changed too much about it if I had to tweak it even further. Not wanting to rehash the post and just say the same things again I decided this time to start completely from scratch and not use any characters I’ve already featured previously. As such this took quite a bit longer than expected and is a couple days late but I hope you enjoy the delusional rambling I have created.
Persona: Alice Margatroid (Touhou Project)
Runner-ups: Mizutani Eri (iDOLM@STER Dearly Stars), Sae (Hidamari Sketch)
It may sound silly to say this but Alice was not who immediately came to mind when I started compiling this list even though I’ve been using her as my avatar for several years straight not to mention the fact I always draw comparisons between me and her. Thank you internet for answering my inquiry and telling me I will forever be associated with Alice. We’re not friendless but we are just as often to be found working alone on things. A lot of times it’s our friends that drag us out of the safety of our rooms while working and though sometimes it can be bothersome we enjoy it in the end. We’re courteous and helpful when need be though we can seem irked or pleased depending on who it is. We both spend a lot of time obsessively engaging ourselves in our hobbies so much so that we may come off as weird but are still able to surround ourselves by people who share our interests. Our moods vary widely: Happy Alice, Depressed Alice, Shy Alice, Embarrassed Alice, Annoyed Alice…I guess there are plenty of things I could say depending on which depictions of Alice I choose to cite but perhaps it’s best to say I’m different wavelengths of the entire spectrum of the Seven-Colored Puppeteer at different times except I’m pretty sure I’m not a tsundere (I think). GAH TOO EMBARRASSING!
Mom: Fate Testarossa Harlaown (Lyrical Nanoha)
Runner-ups: Jinguuji Marimo (Muv-Luv), Cooking Mama
Mama Fate may be a tough fighter but she is also incredibly nice. She is often times busy with work protecting the world so she doesn’t have the time to train us in magic herself. However she would make sure to spend her free time with us encouraging us to stand firm whenever we fall down. Perhaps we should go visit her at work and on the side maybe get some new research materials. It would be nice if us siblings could get Belka cartridge system upgrades for our weapons. Of course we would have to make sure to avoid accidentally researching any illegal magic or Mama would be in quite a bind. I myself also need to remember to never open my grimoire just in case it starts reacting funny to something. I remember her telling us about an incident when she was little involving some magical tome. I also recall something about her having a difficult situation with her mom growing up so I guess that’s why she worries about us and cares for us so much.
Runner-ups: Rider (Fate/Zero), Koizumi Junichirou (Mudazumo Naki Kaikaku), Furukawa Akio (Clannad)
Actually we don’t even know if we have a dad. I don’t ever recall Mama ever mentioning something related to this issue so we may have one or may not. She’ll sometimes talk about someone at work called Nano-something or another but that’s about it. Perhaps we’re adopted or something. Mama seems like the type to do that plus us kids don’t look alike after all…Although I guess I look a tiny bit like Mama since we’re both blonde.
Big Sister: Komaki Manaka (To Heart 2)
Runner-ups: Inami Mahiru (Working!!), Otonashi Kotori (iDOLM@STER), Nanasaki Ai (Amagami), Toudou Shimako (Maria-sama ga Miteru), Ryuuguu Rena (Higurashi no Naku Koro ni), Nano (Nichijou)
Being a single parent means that quite often it will be the older children in charge of family affairs. Being the soft-spoken and responsible type Manaka would help hold the family together when Mama Fate is out on a mission…Or at least she would try. She would definitely be great at household things and her cooking would be great but that is only when she keeps her cool. If any of us mention her “boyfriend” she’ll start stumbling over herself and tripping over her speech so it’d probably best not do that. I doubt most of us would actively tease her but Pascal’s inquisitiveness and playfulness has me worried. Actually she also has the habit of occasionally goes into delusional mode when thinking of that boy and will lose sight of everything (not that I’m one to talk or anything) so perhaps it’ll happen regardless. Although we would get along well it’d probably get awkward if we are ever alone together and get on the subject of love troubles. Anyway it’s not like the rest of us (or at least most of us) are inept at household matters but more help would certainly lessen the strain of using dolls for everything and leave more time to research. It’s not hard to imagine most of the kids except maybe Kyousuke spending time in the house library studying, having tea time and/or practicing magic. Apparently due to an incident at her school Manaka has also become a sorceress and has now started to practice magic with the rest of us.
Big Brother: Kousaka Kyousuke (Ore no Imouto ga Konnani Kawaii Wake ga Nai)
Runner-ups: Otonashi Yuzuru (Angel Beats!), Aizawa Yuuichi (Kanon), Okabe Rintarou (Steins;Gate), Coco (Yes! Precure 5)
I feel so sorry for poor Kyousuke. Not only is he the sole member of the family lacking magical prowess he also has to deal with all the weird quirks we all have. It must be annoying when people keep knocking on your door late at night to talk. He’s practically the family’s personal life consultant. I doubt Manaka would bring up her boy problems herself (even though it’s obvious to everyone) but given his luck Kyousuke would probably get wrapped up in some awful mess. Waver-kun would have his own set of boy problems or more accurately MAN problems. I don’t know exactly that means but I’ll just pretend to feign ignorance. Pascal? Maybe she’ll ask him for food or something? I dunno? Me though…It’s not like there’s someone I like that I need help confessing to! All jokes aside he is incredibly kind despite his external appearance and would take a punch or get on his hands and knees to stand up for us.
Little Sister: Pascal (Tales of Graces)
Runner-ups: Millia il Velch Cutrettola Turan (Last Exile: Ginyoku no Fam), Toshinou Kyouko (YuruYuri), Yumehara Nozomi (Yes! Precure 5), Tachibana Kanade (Angel Beats!), Hasegawa Kobato (Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai), Fear (C³), Dalian (Dantalian no Shoka), Kouyama Mitsuki (Full Moon wo Sagashite), Alice (Kamisama no Memochou), Miyako (Hidamari Sketch), Akimoto Komachi (Yes! Precure 5)
Pascal would be the biggest source of energy in the family or perhaps it might actually be more accurate to say she’s the biggest drain of energy in the family. Always going at her own pace it would be quite hectic whenever she feels like doing something or going out on an adventure. Kyousuke would pretty much say screw it and just roll with whatever while Waver would be having panic attacks since Pascal would be especially interested in playing with him. Knowing the friends we have Manaka and I could probably follow along well enough. Of course Pascal would always be looking up to her older siblings and seeking praise so she would still respect everything and stick to some ground rules. Having said that I think it’d be a nightmare for us to get her to do things like take a bath regularly when she’s caught up in research. It might take all of us to restrain her and throw her in the tub after a week of not bathing. After everything is done and we’re all exhausted I can take a nap with her when she randomly falls asleep.
Little Brother: Waver Velvet (Fate/Zero)
Runner-ups: Kazehaya Shouta (Kimi ni Todoke), Koibuchi Kuranosuke (Kuragehime), Yadomi Jinta (Ano Hi Mita Hana no Namae wo Bokutachi wa Mada Shiranai)
Despite being on the weaker side of the magical spectrum comparatively Waver-kun makes up for it by working his brain to the max of which I find quite admirable. Of course he’s kind of a wimp and messes up at times while trying to fulfill his lofty ambitions but that makes him all the more moe. Somehow it makes me feel like dressing him up in girl’s clothing (Of course I won’t say that aloud). It’d be enjoyable helping him research magical tools or something. I’m sure Pascal would like to help as well. Good thing we’re all Western-style mages so there wouldn’t be too much trouble understanding each others’ different magical styles. I really want him to get better since he has been coming home at odd times panicking and crying. Maybe it has to do with that big man he’s been friends with lately? (I don’t want to pry into their relationship since I don’t like people doing that to me)
Wife: Ayatsuji Tsukasa (Amagami)
Runner-ups: Estellise “Estelle” Sidos Heurassein (Tales of Vesperia), Satou Lilly (Katawa Shoujo), Kagami Sumika (Muv-Luv), Kashiwazaki Sena (Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai), Charlotte Dunois (IS: Infinite Stratos)
Honestly this was the most random meeting I’ve ever had. I don’t remember the exact reason anymore but I somehow dropped one of my dolls and tried to look for it after school. Looking back why was I bringing dolls to school anyway? At any rate I also ended up finding something private of her’s and when she stumbled in on me she snapped. She grabbed my collar and started threatening me. I was used to her kind demeanor in class so it shocked me when Tsukasa Dark emerged. Somehow I got blackmailed by her and we gradually started spending a surprising amount of time together much of it fighting. We’re equals intellectually though we are both surprisingly stubborn at times and so won’t back down. Worst part is she has no magic so in good conscience I have to completely hold back when she gets physical. She has done stuff such as pushing me to the ground and restraining me with her body weight before. I guess it felt good though and gave a nice view of her thighs…WELL WHATEVER. The point is somehow we ended up together. I love everything about her, both light side and dark side. Oh course it was quite the ordeal when we both tried to confess to each other since we were both really embarrassed about it. We both even started nosebleeding when we kissed.
Double tsundere is hard.
Daughter: Minato Tomoka (Ro-Kyu-Bu!)
Runner-ups: Yashiro Kasumi (Muv-Luv), Victorique de Blois (Gosick), Touhara Asuha (Astarotte no Omocha!), Kaga Rin (Usagi Drop)
Don’t ask me how this happened. I don’t quite understand the genetics of this situation but I guess it worked out somehow. It’s hard to tell at first glance but she is definitely our daughter. I like to imagine she got her kind side from me but maybe Tsukasa Light would like to have a word with me. The athleticism? I’m pretty sure that stems from Tsukasa’s sadistic nature to get violent somehow. At the very least I am positive Tomoka got her former competitive side from Tsukasa since I’m only competitive when challenged. It was actually pretty tough for her in school since she got so obsessed with basketball that she isolated herself. I guess the whole family has that major personality problem but I’m glad she found new friends and learned the fun of just playing. It’s fun going to all her games but sometimes when I look over at Tsukasa she has an evil look in her eyes when Mokkan’s losing. Anyway she seems really eager and has been going to the coach’s house to train lately. I hope things are okay and she is having a good time.
Pet: Ika Musume (Shinryaku! Ika Musume)
Runner-ups: Millhiore “Milly” Firianno Biscotti (Dog Days)
Not only is Ika Musume an adorable pet she also doubles as an all purpose servant. With all her appendages she’s just as dextrous and versatile as I am so she can just do all the chores when I am unusually busy. Since she can do anything except pose a threat to us Ika Musume could also play basketball with Mokkan if she needs a practice partner. I’m kinda worried that Ika Musume might not live up to Tsukasa’s standards so she might have her tentacles impaled. Tiger moms are scary. I hope Tsukasa doesn’t see this or she might kill me.
This iteration of AFP was incredibly weird and difficult to work on. Starting with a clean slate for the first time in four years gave me so much trouble that I stared blankly at the computer screen most of the time before ideas even started trickling out. Essentially the way I approached things this round was trying to design things around connections such as magic which is why returning runner-up Fate ended up beating Marimo for the Mom position. Plenty of my favorite characters ultimately did not win out because they didn’t fit with the narrative I slowly constructed in my mind. Speaking of which the two previous entries focused on some family interaction but usually only limited to just between two or three characters. This time I tried to expand it to take into account most sets of interactions plus adding some back story in some places to create a little comedy. I also kinda got too in-character at places so perhaps somethings aren’t my own thoughts. I’m not telling where though. In the end I really didn’t expect to create a list like this. Am I completely satisfied with it? I’m not quite sure nor do I have any idea how I would change it. Perhaps I’ll come back to this in 2014 and revise it just like I did the original.
I hope you found this enjoyable to read. I encourage others to try this creative exercise yourselves and link back. The criteria are quite loose so let your minds run wild. You might be surprised with what you come up with.